If you haven’t heard already, two fervent, new gangs have formed among MHS sophomores. These gangs compete fiercely against one another in battles of wit and ruthlessness. Walk by the concrete practice wall by the tennis courts at Flint Park any day of the week, and you shall see the greatest competition in recent history taking place: watermelon.
The two aforementioned gangs are “Old School” and “New School.” Old Schoolers are the watermelon pioneers who discovered the thrills of the game over spring break this year. New Schoolers are those who started playing after the break.
Almost immediately after this second batch of players came along, the alliances were drawn, and the deadly rivalry began. After each game has been played, the winning gang proudly chants their team name over and over again, flaunting their success to the three-year-olds in the sandboxes that are dazzled by the players’ limitless finesse. However, the celebration does not last long before a new game forms and the competition restarts.
The situation can get dangerous when there is a disputed call, and an infamous “duel” begins. All the players, except the two arguers, run off the court and start shaking the fences and yelling as the two quarreling players race for it. The victor is glorified while the loser is ostracized. Such are a few of the many heated scenarios in a game between Old School and New School.
Members of both gangs take tremendous pride in their team. It is almost impossible to tell which group is better, but members are sure that their respective gang is superior.
Ryan Mueller, captain of New School, strongly stated his confidence in his team. “As the captain of New School, I'd say it's a battle out there,” Mueller said. “I speak for everyone in New School when I say that we go hard every day and consistently get results. It’s a simple process of natural selection. We are already averaging around half of the championships in each session.”
Mueller has high hopes for New School and believes that Old School stars such as Adam “Grandpa” Bernstein and Rayna “OH MAH, OH MAH” Wachs are no match for the players of New School.
Mueller calls New School’s improvised, flashy style of play “swagermelon.” Through “swagermelon,” he hopes to demolish Old School from the courts and become “the more elite squad.”
These histrionic statements make Old School seem weak, which they certainly are not. The Old School powerhouse is still the dominant gang on the court.
Old Schoolers, which are famous for its fast, light (yet deceivingly powerful) and angled hits, are the Yankees of watermelon. The more experienced crew has had countless victories and continues to dominate New School. All of its members have developed unparalleled skills in the ways of hitting, and seemingly slithering under, the ball.
In addition to their highly developed adroitness, Old Schoolers have pride that is equal to that of their newer counterpart. Nobody on the Old School crew forgets his teammates for one minute.
Emotional, heartfelt cries of victory and anguish are the signature of Old School. Adrenaline rushes through the Old School members upon hearing the classic phrases of “Mah kid!” and “Money!” yelled out by Old School prodigy Niall Henderson. The animation and language of Old Schoolers depict both heart and determination. Old Schoolers do not relax until they go home and do not settle for anything short of first place.
With Old School’s sophisticated, tactful hits and New School’s trick shots, there is never a dull moment. It is not yet clear who will be the ultimate champion, but with each successive game, the battle gets hotter and hotter as the teams hone their skills.
The game provides more than just exercise for the athletes. In fact, the word “game” is only a feeble attempt at naming the competition on the court between the gangs. The meaning is much greater. Watermelon provides a title to a champion; a crown to a king; a path to greatness.
Disclaimer: This reporter is an Old Schooler.
